


the last glimpse of winter

by KiaraSayre



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Dreams, Hugs, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Telepathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 07:08:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6844264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiaraSayre/pseuds/KiaraSayre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Wanda…"  Steve twiddles the fingers of one hand.  "Got me in here."</p><p>"Into my dreams," Bucky repeats, and Steve shrugs apologetically.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the last glimpse of winter

**Author's Note:**

> [bitofsilliness](http://bitofsilliness.tumblr.com/) on tumblr pointed out that we never got a Bucky and Steve hug in Civil War. This...may be a bit more than she bargained for. See end for detailed warnings.
> 
> Title is from Vienna Teng's "The Last Snowfall."

Whatever Steve expected, it wasn't this: not the ravine, not the river, not the train tracks far overhead or the smudges of frozen red inconsistently battering the rocks along the shore.

And definitely not Bucky himself, unconcerned by the ragged stump of his left arm, sitting on a rock and watching the snow fall around him.  His expression, even in profile, looks younger than Steve ever remembers him being: his neck slim and unmuscled, his jaw soft, no lines or bruises and his hair cut short to show his face.  Even so, Steve remembers there was a time he wanted to look that old, to be taken that seriously, to not be the short-sick-weak one.

"Bucky?" he says.

Bucky turns, his eyes still peaceful and half-asleep, but after a moment of looking at Steve he frowns. "Steve?"  Then he blinks, and looks around at the ravine.  "This is…different.  I thought - "

Steve can see the distress building in his eyes, and says quickly, "You're still in cryo in Wakanda. You haven't missed anything.  Or, well, you didn't forget anything.  You're dreaming."

"What are you supposed to be, then, my conscience?"

"No, I'm me. Tony can't be everywhere, so we're still out there, helping people.  Only we've been following some leads and it looks like we may have found a HYDRA cell, but there are some questions.  We thought you might have the answers."

Bucky keeps staring.

"So Wanda…" Steve twiddles the fingers of one hand. "Got me in here."

"Into my dreams," Bucky repeats, and Steve shrugs apologetically.  "I thought she moved things?"

"Yeah, but she also…well, we're not really sure what she _can't_ do."  Steve scratches one eyebrow.  "There've got to be at least a few."

"How long have I been under?"

Something in Steve's chest loosens.  "You can't tell?  I mean, you haven't been, I don't know, awake but dreaming this whole time?"

Bucky shakes his head. "I guess it was just like…well, like a dream.  Then you showed up, and I guess I woke up.  Kind of."

"Well," Steve says, his eyes catching on a smear of frozen blood on the rocky shore, "maybe Wanda can…I don't know.  Get you a better dream."

Tilting his head back, Bucky lets out a sigh that comes out of his mouth as a cloud of vapor. "I kind of like it.  It's peaceful."

"It's cold," Steve says quietly.

"The cold doesn't bother me."

Steve closes his eyes. "Don't - trust me.  Don't ever say that around Scott."

"Scott?  He's the - what is he called again, Tiny Man? That Scott?"

Steve chokes on half a laugh.  "Something like that, but his daughter, Cassie - there's this movie, and Scott knows _all the words_ to the songs, but swear to God, the poor guy can't carry a tune with a bucket."

Bucky looks down, half his mouth curling into a smile, but there's something about the crinkles in the corners of his eyes that strike Steve as more sad than happy.  "Who was it - was it Dernier who'd always sing?"

"Yeah," Steve says.  "Morita even more, but the two of them - yeah.  They'd sing all the time."

Nodding, Bucky keeps smiling.  It's definitely sad now.  But then he looks up, and Steve recognizes his don't-make-a-fuss, everything's-fine fake smile.  "You wanted to know something about HYDRA?"

"Yeah," Steve says.  "Yeah, did you ever hear about a HYDRA branch in Oslo working with alien technology?"

"Oslo…" Frowning, Bucky licks his lips in thought.  "That's where Schmidt found the Tesseract.  HYDRA thought there might be more.  I was never useful there, but - yes.  HYDRA was there.  At least a part of it."

Steve sighs. "Great.  There was nothing about an Oslo branch in the files Nat put out. What else could we be missing?"

"A lot," Bucky says instantly.  "Cut off one head, two more take its place.  Sometimes the two heads don't get along.  After Schmidt, Pierce was the closest HYDRA came to having one person in charge, and there was still a hell of a lot he didn't know."

"Yeah?  Like what?"

Bucky's lips thin in half a wince.  "Like the trigger words."

Steve steadies himself with a breath.  The air should be icy, sharp in his lungs and throat, but it's not.  That's even more unnerving.  "T'Challa's got the best neurologists in Wakanda working on it. And intel like this, it's useful - anything that gives us an idea of what we're walking into - "

"It's out-of-date. Anything I could tell you that'd be relevant, the Widow released when SHIELD fell."

"Oslo, that's important.  And the Schmidt connection gets us to Asgardians, that's potentially huge.  I know you said you wanted to do this, but come on - "

Bucky's already shaking his head.  "Steve, don't - "

"We've stopped you before and if we need to, we can do it again.  You shouldn't have to freeze yourself because - "

"Because I murder people?"

"You said you don't do that anymore."

"I know." Bucky looks Steve straight in the eye, unflinching.  "And then I did it again anyway.  I can't - Steve, I'm just…I'm so tired."

He looks down, scrubbing his eyes with his right hand.  The left arm, Steve notices while not watching Bucky's hand come away wet, isn't bleeding.  Probably the cold.  Or maybe the dream.

"Okay," Steve says.  "Okay, Buck, I get it."

"No, you don't," Bucky says.

One corner of Steve's mouth draws up in a humorless smile.  "No, I don't," he agrees.  "But if this is what you want, then…But I have to ask - why here? It seems like…it seems like this would be hell."

The corners of Bucky's mouth tuck in.  "No," he says.  "Hell was what came after."  He presses his lips together for a moment, and then says, "I don't - I still don't have all of it, but here, I was - I was okay.  Falling asleep in the snow was better than…than some other ways to go."

Bucky looks up again. "So you're going after HYDRA?"

"Seems like it. All signs were pointing in that direction, so with confirmation…"

Bucky nods, and hauls himself upright.  "Don't do anything stupid, you hear me?"

Steve huffs out a laugh, but steps closer.  "When have I ever?"

"Oh, God," Bucky says, deadpan.  His right arm goes over Steve's shoulder, hooking down to pull Steve into a hug. Steve doesn't resist.  Instead, he holds onto Bucky as tightly as he can. It's not enough, not after everything, but it's at least something - to be able to touch him without it being a result of violence.  With the distance Bucky kept, even before the decision to go back into cryo, it's more than Steve thought he'd ever get again.

It feels like he has Bucky back.  Just for a moment.

"Be safe," Bucky says softly with a squeeze.

"Yeah," Steve says.  "Get some rest."

Bucky pulls back, and Steve lets him.  "That's kind of the point," Bucky says, with a crooked grin that's finally familiar.  "And, uh.  If Wanda can do this - if she doesn't mind - until the doctors figure out how to fix me…I guess you've got no excuse not to visit."

"I guess not," Steve says, and Bucky claps him on the shoulder before turning back to his rock. It's easier seeing him there now than when Steve first came here - it seems less like a punishment.

Bucky was right.  It is peaceful, in its own way.

**Author's Note:**

> Detailed warnings: References to canon-typical violence (i.e. Bucky's arm is gone!).
> 
> [In case you want to drop by my tumblr and say hi](http://starsandatoms.tumblr.com/).


End file.
